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blogspot is so rad
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Screw this.
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I went to Alyses pretty early.
It was way fun, we just hung and talked and she is the best dread maker ever.
I have 8 total now.

I am so ready to make dreads its not even funny. Literally this second I would get them if I could. I still need to talk to my parents about it. When pirates was on this afternoon he smiled when I talked about the progression of Jack Sparrows dreads. Im going to start talking about them more and more, warm them up to the idea, and see what they think. I mean itll be in good taste and at this point they will be shoulder length but still able to be in a ponytail for work.

So yeah thats basically what im thinking. Oh and if Alyse was that good with a brush, I cant wait to see what she can do with an actual comb!!! Ahh yeah excited.

Um other than that, theres nothing really to talk about. I think Bobo enjoyed yesterday. Things are really good with him. I am more than content.

Yeah thats about it.

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I wasnt going to blog tonight because my eyes are seriously closing, but I want to while its fresh in my mind.

Basically, the school day doesnt matter at all besides me having a heaping ton of fun with Andrew in computer graphics. I didnt realize how much he values our friendship, and its pretty cool.

But anyway, after school Bobo came over and on the bus we chatted with Sam, I think they got along a lot with their commonality in having 4 APs. Shes awesome. Um yeah, we got back to my house and it was pretty chill. We watched Zoolander and it was nice. We sat on the back deck and had this good silence. It was almost like we were old folks that didnt even need to talk because they have known each other for the past 50 years. Um yeah, Bron came over with the kids and it was really cool. I could tell Bobo felt a little out of place because it was a whole bunch of family, then him... but Blakes crazyness deff broke the ice.

Um yeah thats about it. I would go more into detail but I dont exactly want to pass out on the keyboard.
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Um today was weird to say the least.
It was one of those rainy miserable days where something just didnt seem right.
Cosmo was normal.
Computer graphics was very educational. I got a kick out of Cone having us all upload pics of Adrian to edit.
Mr Cook is still awesome.

Yeah so I got home and Neos light was burnt out so I put him in my hoodie then after he warmed up gave him a nice bath. I got a call from my mom from work. There have been people over and Jesses and Shelbys. I figured their grandma died.

James did. Their dad. Motorcycle accident. Its so crazy. Everything there was in mayhem. I mean he always yelled at his kids and stuff and they finally kicked him out of the house, only for him to come live in the downstairs apartment a few months later. I could only imagine what that did to the kids.

So yeah. My mom came home really upset and its so sad.

Bobo was really good to talk to today. He sounded equally upset at how much he made Jor and Miish angry. It sucks because he is the way he is and its hard to work on changing basic personality behavior, but I think he would be so happy if he learned to control it. It was also mostly adjusting to school on top of all that.

I really dont want to say too much tonight. I'm tired and its been a mentally draining day.
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Yeah so basically church was pretty cool today. It was brother Toms first mass after he was ordained. Hes only a deacon now but I think he will be a full on priest in a year or so. The food after was amazingggg.

After that it was looking pretty rainy but we ended up going jetskiing anyway. Doing rabid donuts and feeling those negative g forces is awesome. Its a roller coaster-esque feel. I slammed my chest pretty hard against the handlebars when I first got out there and took a jump. Bron fell too so I dont feel as bad. Hes usually rally graceful with his jumping too. The water was weird until the tide changed. The weather totally cleared up and we hung with that cool jet ski/ bike 40 miles lady Janet. Shes too cool. I want to be like her one day. In shape, happy, with a significant other and a great view towards life. Its sad though because she mentioned that her husband had died. Shes so awesome and its really awful that things like that happen to people. Brooke fell off the picnic table and sliced her finger on a soda can that Jens parents had brought. I mentioned that soda cans are pretty dangerous and Laura was all defensive of her unhealthy syrupy drink and was all no Brooke just shouldntve been on the table. Whaaaatever. The day was a success but we had to turn in early because of babysitting.

Jerri sent us to the house and it took about 20 minutes and apparently the house is only 5 minutes away when we take the main roads. Its all good. Emily and Elise were wonderful and we had pizza and watched tv. They went to bed and shortly after the parents got home. $55 for 4 hours!!!!! Thats the most ive made ever ever. They said that they liked me and wanted to make it a semi regular thing which I would love. Elise is so tiny! Shes adopted from Russia and normally little girls love when you play with their hair but she absolutely hated it. I wonder if they pulled her hair when she was in the orphanage or something. I think I am just paranoid though. Its funny. You fake a sneeze and she says bless you in this tiny little voice. Emily is really cool too, more than just because she has the best name ever (not). Shes really cuddly and it was nice but then she got scared and wanted me to stay with her until she fell asleep. It wasnt too bad though, I just kinda sat there. Their house is humongous and tehy have a porshe (spelling) and a bmw. Fancy Fancy. I am not complaining though because they pay really well. It wasnt stressful at all.

The whole night I was thinking about Bobo and everything. Its really a nice thing and Im so happy when im talking to him and stuff. Sometimes I feel like I wish I could do more though. Its like, Im not really into the physical thing, especially in public and in that its not so much failing him, but moreso something that could be better. I am going to try and be better with that, because its really not that big of a deal, and I am at the point where I totally and completely trust him. Theres no reason for me to shut myself off like that. I still worry with the stress stuff but I think he can get through it. Id seriously be shocked if he didnt get Valedictorian with the way Aps are weighted. Not to put pressure or anything. Im proud of him no matter what. Anyone who has the kahonays to even sign up for that amount of hard classes is amazingly gutsy. Theres still lots of good things to look forward to this year, like days off and awesome concerts. Itll all be good. Im so excited for the future. I really feel like I can have a good time with this kid and as time goes on itll get better and better.

Current Music: 3 days grace in my head (EW!)

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I dont know why I wanted to hate Incubus for so many reasons. They are really really good.

Today dragged on but at the same time feels like nothing happened at all. When I step into the Ranch time stands still. By the time I am out of work the day is gone. I like the new shift of mining camp. It overlaps with the rifle range, so I can talk to whoever is in it. This time it was 2 life gaurds, ones from wallkill and the other I dont know. The one guy Aaron was really weird. He told me that the day I was looking for my boss to see if I had to work he kept hanging up on me. Its weird that he decided to tell me that. Whatever. Him and I watched beer softball off in the distance. Its really amusing as the game goes on and the guests get more and more drunk. I feel aweful but the highlight of the day was seeing this 300 pound drunk guy be pitcher then fall when he threw the ball. Its mean but so funny. I think the show the whitest kids you know is corrupting me. Of course it had to start raining 5 mins before I was ready to close up shop, why not an hour or 2 before?!?! Whatever.

When I got home I called Bobo and we chatted for a few minutes. He seemed busy and stressed. Hopefully I can get him to my house Thursday for a bum day. We both need it. Maybe watch Garden State and or Zoolander and or Python. Maybe Miish would want to come for a while too after shes done with school. Who knows.

I hope their writing goes well. If this new song is half as good as Insane Asylum itll be amazing.

K im in the mood for the phone.

Current Music: Megalomaniac - Incubus

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Today went so quickly. Votec was cool. Kayliegh and talked the whole time and it was beyond rad. Shes so cool.

I got to lunch and sat with Bobo but then it was weird because we were all having a casual conversation and Kasey just blurts out so are you guys going out or what? It was really weird, I got all quiet and unresponsive and Bobo was just like Im not telling you. He handled the weirdness very well. Its nothing against Kasey but its a touchy subject that Id rather not discuss with 6 other people hanging around that I dont exactly let into my life as much as i do with her. It was just a weird situation. I messaged Kasey to try and have a conversation about it but she responded with something unrelated. Im not planning on starting any big deal about it. Its not a big deal. Bobo and Alyse totally made me feel less awkward. Alyse said something about good things taking time and I so agree. Bobo then said something about 2 cents and 4 cents. I dunno, it was confusing but righteous so I put it in the Bobo oneliner word document.

Anyway, I think things worked out. I wish I had hung and gone to the game but Im glad that all of my homework is done and theres no pressure with that. It sounded like there was a pretty intense practice going on when I called for a few mins. I have a feeling that Jordan was joking when he did the bros before hos thing. I know its silly but the last thing I want to do is come between him and the band. Oh and I think I have something like 8 people coming to the show just of my family and my sisters friends. I am going to not stay on for long if i hear they are at the shop. Its important time for the band. I mean im not all worried or anything, I know that im pretty chill with everyone, especially Miish. Shes really taken on a big sister role to me. So yeah, alls well with the Bobo thing. Im slowely finding myself more confortable and wanting to like site closer to him and stuff. That whole end of things will come. Im glad that the mental thing was there first, because I can say that I really feel confident with this.

And if anyone asks, it should just be a yes, its really not a big deal. Before was easing into it, but I mean things are serious enough, why not give it a name.

Its 10:45 and the tv isnt even hooked up yet. Its really nice though. Im so excited. At best buy we found Zoolander for $5 which is awesome and I bought Garden State which makes me sosososo happy. Val has got to see the uncut version. She missed so many awesome scenes. I love that movie so much. Bobo should see it. I bet hed like it.

So thats that for today. I wish I didnt have to work tomorrow but Im lucky to be getting as many hours as I am. Not many are as lucky as me. As cool as the people are, I am looking forward to getting into the salon business. That type of thing is so much more me. I mean this job is good but hair is my calling.

The TV is on. Im gonna go watch it. Of course it has to be Nickleback (boo) with santana (awesome).
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What the hell is wrong with me?
Why did I not say it back?
I think it caught me by surprise.
I feel so shitty now. Buy happy at the same time?
Its weird because theres all this positive emotion and connection and for the first time theres seriously like no physical to distract or anything. I think thats what ruined so much in the part. So much time is missed because of stupid stuff like that. My left arm is seriously shaking. Thats never happened from something like this. Yeah wow. Scattered thoughts much? I need to try to be more affectionate and stuff. Czechs are not affectionate at all. The last time I hugged my mom was her birthday a few weeks ago but before that I dont remember. Its not that I dont care, I just am not that way about my parents or anyone really close to me. With friends I can be xlose and hug and all that because it doesnt actually mean anything more than oh you are really cool but I think when it means more its like I am nervous about conveying wrong messages and just the fact that for the first time in my life I am really really putting myself out there for someone. I think that I didnt have any problem with past guys is because I never truly cared for them the way I do now. It didnt matter because they werent reeeally that important to me but now Im just shell shocked and theres no reason for me to be as far away as I am now. I have opened up so much and its scary I guess that whole mind body and soul thing. Well, the mind is no longer just mine. I think that the physical part scares me because then like its my mind and body being shared with someone else and its sooo scary to think about.

So the real question, do I say it back? I am one of those romanticists that believes love is one of those undefinable things and I really dont know when its there. I dont want to lie about something I take so seriously. It is so beyond unfair. What I can say is that there is something here that has never ever been here before. Its indescribable my feelings for this kid. Its never boring to talk to. Theres comfort, theres support, theres friendship, theres that x factor. I really like how besides the random REALLY nice words that theres like zero flirtation. To me, its hard to break the grey area of when is fun and when is serious. Right now I have nothing but serious amazing feelings. I think its something beyond incredible, but I am one of those people that is so hesitant to use the word and because of that I feel like a royal douche.

And Bobo- Dont feel like you shouldntve said anything because Im so happy you did. It really really made my day and was the reassurance I needed. Im sorry I am a prude and all over the place but I really am trying hard and I promise itll be worth it and with time itll just get better. I want to do this right so bad because its what you deserve.

wowwwww long much?
As far as the day goes, I met a girl from kingston. Kayleigh. Shes so cool, not quite scene but still really awesome. I think her and I will be fast friends. We learned hand massaging today. I love love love cosmo.

And I think I finally found my dream career. It just clicked.


Current Music: Goodnight and Go - Imogen Heap (in my head)

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